That Holy scripture teaches us that IF (and that’s a humongous, oversized, nearly impossible to believe it could every happen in this universe “if”), as a nation we could implement a flat tax rate with no deductions, no exemptions, no loopholes, no shelters and some mechanism for ensuring those taxes actually get paid, our Nation could fund every last dime of it’s everyday expenses AND have the ability to further fund a significant “prudent reserve”. The revenues collected could further fund those golden eggs of retirement pensions (what we USUALLY think of when we talk about Social Security), health care for retirees (what we USUALLY think of when we talk about Medicare), veterans benefits (VA health care, GI Bill, retirement, advanced education for those seeking advancement while making a career of Military service, etc.).

Beyond all of these so-called “entitlement programs”, a fully implemented and fully collected flat tax would allow ample available resources for the single MOST CRUCIAL responsibility of our state and federal governments which “they” have recently and so cavalierly COMPLETELY ABDICATED: Infrastructure maintenance and development.

Sadly, in The little, brown book of Holy Agnostic Philosophy: Book of Avarice and Ambition, verse 6,532 warns us (and we have witnessed the first 23 of the 58 prophecies come to pass, further warning that if we don’t jump through the coming worm hole to our alternate universe then we are doomed to burn on a scorched planet), that “No matter its greatness, no matter its acceptance by all the masses, no matter the strength, character, foresight and good will of the leaders who create and implement this great and fair method of funding the peoples own good, the lobbyists shall slither from the golden palaces, uncoil from the marble-lined halls along the gold-and-derivative paved street and strike with their poisoned fangs at every living creature until they once again feast on the flesh of those who dare to challenge their masters”.

I added another jar of this legume-based elixir to the cupboard and a day or two later was happily spreading it on toast when Greg walked in to the kitchen, looked at the jar and said “Gary, that stuff looks awful – are you sure it’s still good?”. I immediately knew what had happened to the previous jar.

Having never been exposed to real peanut butter, when Greg saw my jar of half peanut paste half peanut oil sitting upside down in the cupboard, he assumed the strange looking brew had gone bad and tossed it in the trash.

To this day, 13 years later, it’s a battle between real peanut butter and something that looks a little like peanut butter, smells a little like peanut butter but is the “peanut colored spread” you wrote about.

Somehow, your lable-reading that seemed to double the time at the grocery store when I was a kid has rubbed off on me. Even if only for some items and certainly not during every shopping trip, it has made a difference.

Greg is exceptionally conscientious about inspecting every last ingredient in the pet foods, and after 13 years, I know that concern is begining to transfer to the people food.

The Oreo containers are still never read: I don’t want to know what poisons make them so tasty and good, but since I have to finish the whole box in one day, I suspect there is a healthy dose of crack in each and every heavenly brown-white-brown halo.

Viva Jamie Oliver and down with the LAUSD Board for viciously protecting the secret ingredients in the “chiggin” nuggets and “tator tots” they continue to cram down the gullets of children too young to know any better and too powerless to change it if they do.